Spring in Bavaria

This is the end

What for a week. Yesterday my Mom called me, my brother had a heavy accident with his motorcycle. They brought him with the rescue-helicopter in the hospital. I was really at the end and cryed a lot again. Actually their is no danger for his life anymore and he is able to move his legs. I´m not able to driving home today. I ate not very much this week and had too less sleep.

Wednsday my big love stood overnight. We talked till 4 o´clock in the morning and after this we had two hours sleep arm in arm. But he told me, he will never leave his girlfriend. It makes me so sad. Yesterday after the accident a wrote him a message and he comes to me again and put his arms around me. Today he will drive at home to his girlfriend. My heart brokes in thousand of pieces.

What for a fucking life...

posted by: Moosecow at 06:05 | link | comments (1) |

Love hurts so much

Yesterday I suffered like a dog, how you in Germany say. I wasn´t able to thinking and eating the hole day. In the evening, after working, I opened a bottle with red wine and watched the movie "The Doors" for the 51th time. I think I will drive crazy next time. I cried a lot yesterday and now I´m looking like "Frankenstein". A girl friend told me yesterday, I have to stop writing messages to him. So I stopped this, but it isn´t easy. Because normally I have to write him every second minute that I love him so much. But I know, after a time the pain stops, I hope not so long away. Since Saturday I lost a lot of weight and my uniform is hanging around.

posted by: Moosecow at 06:06 | link | comments |

Sad ending

Yesterday in the evening I went by bike with my big love to a nice place for speaking. He told me how much he likes me, that I´m a beautiful woman and that he always wished a woman like me. But he has his girl friend and he isn´t able to leave her. Later we spoke a lot of our life and laughed sometimes hardly.

When I was back at home he wrote a lot of messages, now I know he told me the truth. I drove him crazy and he isn´t able to have any clear thought, like me. What shall I do? Shall I fight or let it be? But my heart is broken, I´m looking for him for about one year. And I always think about him.

 

posted by: Moosecow at 05:58 | link | comments |

I´m in love

But it´s very difficult because he has a girl friend since 12 years. He likes me too, he talked to me. Today we have a date, he want´s to speak with me about this. I know the ending, he won´t decide for me. It makes me so sad, why life is so difficult?

posted by: Moosecow at 05:48 | link | comments |

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